Talking Points

March 6, 2007

Swedish retailer IKEA has targeted American consumers for re-education

Filed under: Talking Points memo — talkingpoints @ 4:47 pm

IKEA criticizes Americans for using their plastic bags – that’s the subject for today’s Talking Points memo.

IKEA provides – they provide them – 70 million plastic bags very year to its US shoppers, el freebo. But now IKEA is scolding you for taking them! IKEA spokesperson Mona Astra Liss criticizes “the average American family of four” for throwing away 1,500 single use polyethylene bags, which don’t degrade for 1,000 years; less than 1 percent are recycled.” 

You Idiots! You stupid Americans!

So IKEA’s bag giveaway will stop.  Says Mona Astra: “Our objective is to get Americans to really think about the impact of the bags which are strangling the – – ”

Your giving them away!  What the hell is this?!

From now on, you stupid American enveiomental destroyers are going to have to pay a nickel a bag for the honor of shopping at IKEA outlets – and that’s that Steo One.  Next, after you dolts get your mind set right, IKEA will ban the bag altogether and you’ll have to bring your own cloth bags if you want to shop there.  When that blessed day arrives, fragile Mother erf – now choking on 100 million American plastic bags yearly in her land fills – will flourish!

Oh, by-the-way, the “18 seconds Movement” is growing.  That’s the campaign to make you idiots replace your planet-destroying incandescent light bulbs with “Earth-friendly” compact flourescents.  (18 seconds is the average time it takes to change a light bulb.)  The Energy Department, the EPA, Yahoo and Wal-Mart are joining forces with wacko light buld activists to shame you into changing your bulbs.

18 seconds to change a light bulb?  I thought that was what wives are for.

And that’s the memo.

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